I've written 'Goodbye, Sam' months ago for the literary folio of my university. It is a story of one brother who struggled hard to keep a promise to a younger sibling. What makes me write about it today is because that story also touches on the cruelty of cancer and how it separates people, loving people, from each other.

I believe that all love stories have an ending. I've written it before that "happily ever after" can only be found in books. Soul mates or whatever they call two people who love each other too much these days can really never stay together until the end, physically that is though. I believe that somewhere along the way as two people make memories, something, someone or a divine intervention (if you can call it that) would come in the way stopping what would have been a happy ever after.

Yes. It may sound cruel but it's the reality of things.

Take my friends, Payang and Blesie's case.

They met in college. They fell in love. They fought hard - hunger, persecutions by friends and family and thousand more other trials. Those problems they face like bubbles on a dry summer day - meaning, the problems never really last. They end up marrying each other. They have a child, a beautiful girl they nicknamed "Cloney." Their story is a beautiful love story - one that, for me, deserves a happy ending.

But life happens. Something came in the way stopping them. Ble passed away a week or so ago. He fought cancer. Knowing Ble for some time, I know that he fought well. I know he struggled to keep his life, battled with whatever strength he has left, all for a lovely wife who adores him more than anyone and for a child he wanted so badly to see grow.

But he didn't make it. I don't know what it was like to be beside him as his life drains away from him. I know in his bed, as he tried to smile to comfort a worried wife, he has been asking the Big Guy in heaven "Why him?" And I know more than the pain he bears, he was more worried for the family he would leave behind - a young wife who would lose a husband and a daughter who wouldn't have a father. And Ble knows that they didn't deserve that.

What follows is an excerpt of Payang's letter to the malevolent Mr. Cancer. It is heart-wrenching but I like it best when she said: "Now my loving husband is dead...You might have been the reason of his early death but, you failed to change our faith. His Faith in God will lead him to Everlasting Life. In the end, Blesie is still the winner. The grandeur of everlasting life still belongs to him."

People told Payang to hang in there or that there is a reason for everything. I'd like to tell her the same thing but I doubt that things will get better. All I know is that Payang's life will be like hell and the only thing that would keep her moving forward is her daughter.

I'm hoping that sometime in the future, Payang will be happy again -truly happy. But I doubt that too. For me, you can only love one person your whole lifetime. You can settle for the second best but "the one who got away" will always have the best part of you.

It would be a cliché but "hang in there Yang."
Despite my realistic and masochistic self, I still believe that there is in fact a reason for everything.
And I still believe you can be happy.
Maybe not as happy when Ble was around, but happy.
It will help you get by as you wait for the moment where you two will be reunited.
Some will call it stupidity or delusion, but just like you, I’d like to call it FAITH.

I'm crossing my fingers (just like the over thousand other hopefuls). If I win, I'll finally have a camera that would push me to take better pictures. If not, then I may need to work harder to earn about 50k to finally buy one on my own.

Again, it's desperate. But can you blame me?

A friend confided in me yesterday that she's already hating the people around her, - that life is slowly and painfully becoming miserable. She can't believe how those whom she consider her friends can become her enemies in so short a span of time and from the charming people that they were, they abruptly became shallow and mean bitches.

And she asked, "Ain't we supposed to be nice?"

And she asked again, "Aren't we told to be good to one another?"

And I asked her back, "who told you exactly that it is a rule to be nice?"

And I followed up, "when was being nice a requirement for everyone?"

And I ranted that being nice doesn't guarantee that one would gain the best people and make them one's friends. I told her, often, being nice would only get her in more trouble.

We ended our conversation without settling anything. She still believes that despite people's meanness to her, she owes it to herself to remain in character. I believe that niceness should only be applied to people who deserve it.

The truth is, I applaude her martyrdom. Good job, blah blah blah. But I know she would remain miserable all her life because she thinks the happiness of people around her lies in her being nice. Not good!

Nice is overrated.

"People should be cruel in order to be kind." Such was our motto in college and I forgot about it until now. Until I was humiliated and degraded by a person whom I originally thought was nice. Until I was pushed into the corner by a person who says one thing and mean the other. Until I was boxed out by a bitch whom I originally thought was smart but I've proven to be an egomaniac and stupid (nasty combination by the way!).

So "nice" is going out of the window.

If my friend would want to become the forever Good Samaritan that she is, fine. For me, there is a point where everything ends. And I already reached that point.

So bring it on! You've seen nothing of me yet!

Making silly banters have become a habit for most people. Just because they have every right to express what they feel, they say things without regard for the consequences. They criticize to the point that they're already stepping on somebody else's rights and degrade someone to the point of being totally garbage.


I really don't care about what other people say or do, but the moment that they cross the boundaries and become plain rude, I can't just stand doing nothing. I pride myself with the fact that I can let other people win when obviously, it's useless to argue. Intelligent people know when to shut up and when to speak their mind. And come on, every once in a while, people should let go and stop being self-righteous b*&^#@! more than they already are.

The RH Bill has been making the headlines. It's like the whole country's future is dependent on the said bill. Well, that might be the case but I'm looking forward to the representatives of the land to become models for its citizens. What I really wish is for them to discuss and debate intelligently. By intelligent, I hope they can keep their focus on the issue and not get sidetracked with each other's flaws as humans. I hope they can be what they are, senators and representatives, who would weigh the pros and cons and not gnarl at each other like mad dogs.

I think the purpose of debating is not only to educate but for this case, get most of the representatives and the senators to side with the idea that RH Bill is either good or bad for the country. What's wrong with providing facts and figures? Would calling someone names (thank God, it hasn't reach that far yet) make any difference at all? Who would get votes with name calling (or should I say insults) anyway?

If the senators and house representatives are fighting like mad cows in their respective houses, throwing insults all around and challenging each other to fist fights, what message are they sending to the Filipino people? The bill was passed and everyone will be given the chance to speak their minds. Everyone wil have a say, that's for sure. I know however that the reason why there is this on-going debate is because all of us are just being vigilant about what's good for the country.

What's the win-win position here?

Compromise!

If that word is too hard to understand, then even if everyone debates over and over again and people will kill each other, we will be heading nowhere.

(P.S. This is my two-cents, if you don't agree with my thoughts, at least show some decency and respect it.)

I missed the days when I think of none
But things that are so fun
I missed the days where all that matters
Is nothing really, there were no worries.

I missed the times when camping out
Means having to worry bout parents pout
I missed the times when being on my own
Is not a good thing cause Im too young.

I missed the moments when I was free
From the burden of adulthood, was I lucky?
I missed the moments when all I care about
Is where to go next with friends abound.

But today is the day of responsibility
And the time is time to be a somebody.
This is the moment were life is messy
Because being an adult is taking liability.

I was in a hurry to grow yesterday
And when I got here finally
I wanted to go back to a time
When life was fun, and what matters is none really.